November 23, 2009
Since Thanksgiving is only three days away, I thought I’d write an unusual blog entry for today. It involves some of my fictional characters and how they’d cook a traditional turkey dinner.
How do you and your family cook yours? Is it just you, stuck in the kitchen for hours? Or does your husband fry or smoke the turkey? Do you make your sister or the kids peel potatoes? Who concocts dessert?
See, I imagine the characters in my current series as one big family, odd though it may be. Since the series is about an agency that recovers stolen art, I figure that one of them would probably have to recover the turkey first. Right? It only makes sense, since these people are recovery agents.
So here’s what I envision. Sheila, who is the ARTemis, Inc. office manager in all three books (TAKE ME IF YOU CAN, TAKE ME TWO TIMES and TAKE ME FOR A RIDE) buys the frozen turkey in the first place, probably with a company-issued grocery store gift card. Can’t you imagine Sheila, in some tight, leopard top that showcases her assets? With her teased blond hair styled seductively and maybe a pair of hot-pink reading glasses on her nose? Yup, I can see her, pushing a shopping cart around the local food-mart in some sprayed-on pants and high heels. She’s muttering and complaining and popping her gum while she loads the cart with sweet potatoes, bags of stuffing, cans of pumpkin and a huge, 22-pound turkey.
Sheila checks out and brings the load of groceries back to the ARTemis offices, where her husband, Marty (the firm’s accountant) complains bitterly about the bill. Sheila ignores him and sticks the turkey in the fridge to start defrosting. But in the morning,
it’s . . . gone!
Who has stolen the turkey?
There are several prime candidates: Avy Hunt, kick-ass co-owner of the firm, who tends to shoot first and ask questions later. Sir Liam James, her (retired?) master-thief fiancé, who’s never met a luxury item that he didn’t like. (See TAKE ME IF YOU CAN.) Then there’s Gwen Davies, who was born with a silver spoon in her mouth but can now kill a man with a spike heel. Or her blue-collar turned white-collar hottie of a husband, Quinn—who’s a man not to be messed with. (See TAKE ME TWO TIMES.) And finally, there’s hard-living ladies’ man Eric McDougal, who’s got to learn that not everything in life is easy—including, to his shock, himself. (TAKE ME FOR A RIDE.)
Any of these characters could have stolen the turkey. But let’s say that it was Kelso, the other co-owner of ARTemis, Inc.—the guy nobody has ever seen. He operates out of the ether, using digitally-altered voices, and enjoys driving his employees crazy.
So, to keep this short and sweet, it was Kelso who stole the turkey and McDougal who finds it and steals it back. The problem is that it’s still frozen! What’s a bunch of art recovery agents to do on Thanksgiving morning, with a dangerously frozen bird?
Avy wants to hack it apart with a meat cleaver and then toss the parts into the microwave. (Nobody ever said she could cook.)
Liam offers to massage it for hours with warm olive oil. (He’s a sensual kind of guy.)
Sheila swears at it, pops her gum, and goes to the phone to call KFC for some fried chicken instead (while Marty protests the added expense).
Gwen raises her beautifully groomed eyebrows and contacts her favorite caterers while Quinn offers to barbecue on the backyard grill.
And McDougal? Well, he’s got several lady friends who’ve invited him for dinner, so . . . he’ll see them all later. That McDougal, what a player . . .
Here’s where YOU come in, readers. Whoever supplies the best/most creative/funniest solution for this problem will win a full set of my TAKE ME series—all three books! I’ll stop back by during the day to see what you’re coming up with. Have fun! And have a fabulous Thanksgiving of your own.
(Please visit me at www.KarenKendall.com for more information, contest, newsletter, excerpts, etc.)