Say my Name
Book one of the “Bound by Love” series
ONLY FOR YOUR REFERENCE!! MM Erotic Romance. Book contains sexually explicit BDSM scenes and strong language
International bestselling author Patricia Logan, resides in Los Angeles, California. The author of several #1 bestselling erotic romances in English, Italian, French, and Spanish lives in a small house with a large family. When she’s not writing her next thriller romance, she’s watching her grandchildren grow up way too soon, and raising kids who make her proud every day. One of her favorite tasks is coaxing nose kisses from cats who insist on flopping on her keyboard while she types. Married to a wonderful gentleman for 30 years, she counts herself lucky to be surrounded by people who love her and give her stories to tell every day.
Become a fan of Patricia at http://authorpatricialogan.com/ Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org. She loves to hear from readers more than anything and will respond to all emails.
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Dawson Thomas is a rent boy, a young man who goes out hoping to impress a man who’ll pay him to be a submissive for a kinky night together. One night he accompanies a friend to a BDSM club in New York. Raw Hide is a place where men gather to live out their fantasies and Dawson can’t believe his good luck when the owner invites him upstairs to be paid for a night of kink. When others whisper that the man is hideously deformed, calling him “The Monster”, Dawson remembers the cost of his tuition and puts aside his fears, accompanying the bodyguard to the man’s apartment.
Each night, Cole Chambliss paces in his rooms above Raw Hide, watching beautiful submissives give themselves to their Doms, just a few steps down the stairs. Cole longs for days past when he could go out in public… when no one would stare at him in horror. After paying a bitter price when fighting for his country, Cole knows his days of walking among whole men are gone forever… that is until one night he takes a risk that terrifies him. The stunning submissive who’s caught his eye is something extraordinary and Cole decides he must chance everything for one last shot at happiness.
One dark night, one desperate risk, and one horrifying request later, Cole hears the words he’s feared since his return from the war. “Say my name, Sir… please just… say my name…”
“Good match you made, boss,” Bull said, walking up to the desk where Cole stood.
Cole sat down heavily, looking up at his huge bodyguard. “I don’t want Zander touching him again and he’s not allowed in the pit,” he hissed. His voice was even more hideous and ragged than usual.
“What? Who? Zander?” Bull asked, perplexed. “You don’t want Zander in the pit again but boss, you said…”
“Dawson, you idiot!” Cole shouted.
“But, Cole, you said you wanted Dawson to play with Zander. I explained to him that you just wanted him to take an interest in the submissive the way you asked me to. I told him you didn’t want to see him hooking up with the wrong Dom and that you wanted to see him be a friend to Dawson.”
Cole nodded, feeling a hard rock in the pit of his stomach. “And, did you tell Zander I’d cover Dawson’s fees?”
“Yeah, boss. Besides, their scene was brilliant. Listen to that applause. You haven’t changed your mind, have you Cole?”
Cole cursed the fact that he hadn’t turned off the speaker as the crowd went crazy for them. He squeezed his eyes shut and laid his head back on the leather headrest on his chair. His brain felt like it would split in two from agony and his stomach was twisting with nausea from just having seen Dawson given pleasure by the other dominant. It was killing him. He opened his eyes and looked miserably over at Bull.
“Just… just tell Zander he’s not to touch the boy again, okay?”
“Sure, boss. Anything you say.” Bull turned to walk away but seemed think better of it as he stopped himself in his tracks and spun back around. “You know, Cole, it wouldn’t be so bad if you told the boy you loved him. I know he’s crazy about you too. You’re just too prideful to see it.”
Fucking bloody friends! Who needs you? “You think I’m proud of these scars? I curse them every day!” He stood so fast, the desk chair spun behind him.
“Oh, I didn’t realize Dawson had seen you,” Bull said. He walked back up to Cole’s desk. “I thought you’d blindfolded him and he’d gotten to know you on the inside.” He pointed at Cole’s chest.
Cole’s mouth dropped open. I have! Cole was suddenly pissed all over again as Bull stood there staring at him smugly. He knew damned well what Bull was trying to imply… that somehow Dawson had fallen in love with Cole in spite of never seeing him, meaning the only way he’d ever learned anything about Cole was by the way he perceived him to be on the inside. Cole had to admit, it was an intelligent argument and one he had dismissed until his friend had mentioned it. He’d never thought it was possible that a man like Dawson could fall in love with him and it bugged him to no end that Bull could read him so easily.
He’d lost all his confidence on a battlefield in Afghanistan. But, Cole had seen the emotions in Dawson as he’d sent him away… the way he’d apologized and sobbed, thinking he had done something wrong, had displeased him in some manner. How selfish you’ve been. You toyed with that sweet submissive, made him fall in love with you, and then cast him off, pushing him into someone else’s arms. You stupid man. He stared at Bull for a few seconds, finally sitting back down in his chair, squeezing his eyes shut in shame, and leaning his head back as he realized what a complete ass he’d been to both Dawson and to Zander. Cole had stayed up in his perch of power and played with the hearts and minds of both men and he despised himself for it. He looked up at Bull who hovered over his desk, looking angry.
“I’ve been a horrible idiot and I’ve treated them both badly.” He hated the way emotions seemed to thicken his already ruined voice.
“You know, Cole. Zander’s a big boy. He’ll get over it in a heartbeat if you were to tell him that you made a mistake and wanted Dawson,” Bull said, his voice quiet.
“Dawson’s a whole other thing, Cole. I think you know that.”
“He’s in love with me? How is that possible?” Cole was flabbergasted that it could be possible.
“You’re in love with him, that’s evident,” Bull said, “Why is it such a far stretch for you to believe he could love you back?”
“I think that’s obvious,” Cole snapped. His stomach was churning as he stared at Bull.
“You know, for an intelligent man, Cole, sometimes, you cannot see past the nose on your own face. Even without the use of his vision, Dawson saw the man I know you are. He saw a compassionate man who has so much to offer the world.”
Cole blew out a long breath as he frowned. “He would be wrong. Those days are over.”
“Then if you truly believe that about yourself, you’re not the man I once knew,” Bull accused. His face was terrifying at the moment and Cole realized must look like his warrior ancestors at their most fierce. “You’ve closed yourself off from the world for four years, refusing to show yourself to anyone. So what if you have scars or a voice you hate. You are a man I’ve always been proud to call friend… and a fantastic Dom,” he said. Cole was surprised how worked up he seemed to be getting. “Besides that, you’re the only one I could trust myself to come out to, Cole. No one in my family would accept me as I was. You rescued me, Cole. I know your heart. Are you too proud to take a chance on that submissive? If you are, I quit.” He turned away and began to walk toward the door to the apartment as Cole shot out of his chair and ran around the desk.
“What are you saying, Bull? You quit?” His voice rumbled with emotion.
Bull stopped in his tracks and turned. The fury written on his best friend’s face was terrifying in its intensity. “Yeah, you heard me. I’m tired of your whining. Get out and live, Cole… or die here alone. Those are your choices. If you can’t see the man you really are, it’s you who’s wearing the blindfold, you stupid dick.”
Without another word, he stomped out of the apartment, slamming the door behind himself. Cole stared at the door for a few seconds trying his best to comprehend what had happened in the last few minutes. He turned and walked back to the windows where he stared out at the club teeming with every kind of life… a life he’d given up on long before.
Please tell us a little bit about your current projects?
I’m finishing up a story for my Marine Bodyguards series, The Brat (Book 3). This series is MM and not BDSM and has been one of my favorites so far. Of course, as I’m writing whatever I’m writing, it’s always my favorite but this series is special to me. It’s funny and especially hot filled with sexy Marines and their clients. Of course there’s lots of love and sex and that works just fine for me.
When was the moment that you knew you had to be a writer?
When I had gone through a re-read of my entire romance shelf and had nothing left to write. I sat down and outlined my first book (a MF Regency which I never published) and haven’t stopped writing since.
Who gave you the one piece of writing advice that sticks with you to this day?
GA Hauser told me that I’d found my niche when I wrote my first novel-length BDSM, Silver Ties. She encouraged me to write a sequel to it and out of it came my most successful series to date, The Master’s Boys. She was right. She also encouraged me to self-publish and I’ve never regretted that decision.
Describe the “perfect” hero. What about the “perfect” hero for you?
The perfect hero for me is the most imperfect MC I can write, whether it be because of his physical or emotional limitations, working within that complex framework, is my favorite thing to do.
What are some of your favorite pastimes? Do you have any hobbies or collections?
I love to cook and read. Boring right? lol
What has been your biggest adventure to date?
I’d have to say my biggest adventure has been surviving two kids with former heroin addictions. It wasn’t the most fun, but it was definitely an adventure, one I wish on no one. The good thing that came out of it was that my kids are still alive and thriving now, both committed to never going back and diving fully into their recovery. Addiction, prison, depression, and all of the fun things that go along with it seem terrible at the time, especially for the ones affected most by it, the family unit. Things will never be the same but we’ve all come to terms with the aftermath of hard drugs and have developed coping skills beyond what I could have imagined. For me, I’ve written stories about the destruction drugs cause, making one of my books main characters a heroin addict. It was both easy and hard to write about. Easy in that I knew how to write it from watching my kids and hard because I had to draw on so many incidents which actually occurred.
If your fairy godmother waved her wand and whisked you away to the location of your choice, which place would you choose, and why?
Definitely, Hawaii. I’ve been to the islands many times but there’s just so much there to explore. I have only seen two of the islands, Maui and Oahu, but I would really love to explore the others and even live there full time. It is truly paradise.
When it comes to food, are you the adventurous type who will try anything once, or do you prefer to stick to tried and true foods and recipes?
I won’t eat bugs or anything that sounds hideous to me. That said, I like trying new foods but also to re-create favorite recipes I’ve eaten in restaurants, at home. If the family likes them, they become part and parcel of our family meals. It is fun to try out new things on them.
What is the one modern convenience that you cannot do without? What is this romance writer’s idea of the “ideal romantic evening”?
I would not be able to function without my computer. I spend sometimes 16 hours a day on it, from writing to watching movies, and I really would have a hard time sitting down with paper and pen and writing my books on a yellow pad. Lol. As far as a romantic evening, I think sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and a handsome man, laughing at his stories, and making out a little, sounds about perfect.
How do you describe yourself? How would your family and friends describe you?
I describe myself as funny. I have a good sense of humor and I adore making people laugh. I would also say, I describe myself as a hard worker. I like feeling accomplished at the end of the day and I think others would agree with both of those characterizations.
What is your favorite comfort food?
That’s really hard to say. Twizzlers come to mind J
What is your favorite season? What do you love about it?
Spring is definitely my favorite season. I live in Southern California so we don’t get snow even though it’s been in the 30s and 40s this Winter, but the summers are long and brutal with temps well into the triple digits for months. Spring is so beautiful because I don’t have to live with the heater or AC on all the time and the air smells like flowers. Everything greens up and it’s just gorgeous.