By Lisa M. Campbell
Legend has it, in ancient times, the druids created a magical substance, which they presented to a clan of mischievous faeries, with one condition; they could only spread it upon the land of the Scots. Not long after the Great Sprinkling, the faeries realized the lust-dust rendered the Scot’s distinctive brogue irresistible to women of all ages, and cultures.
Sound far-fetched? Yeah, it does. Though, no more far-fetched than a woman in her forties drooling to the point of dehydration over some guy in a kilt!
Let’s face it. In this country, pleats and plaids have always been relegated to our grandmother’s Christmas attire, and correct me if I’m wrong, but no one’s having hot flashes over that image, are they? So what is it about a man, and not just any man, but a Scotsman, wearing a kilt? Could it be the various colors of the individual plaids complimenting their manly stubble? Or is it the well-muscled calves and thighs, peeking out below the hem line which seems so provocative? Perhaps it’s the “dangly bits” underneath the kilt, that knocks us into a faint?
Recently, my husband Kevin, and I, attended three Campbell weddings within months of one another. Every single time my six foot, three inch honey put on his formal regalia, it was all I could do to keep from ripping my clothes off, and launching myself at him. It hardly mattered we had been engaged in heated debates over which route to take to the reception(s). Once his kilt went on, all rational thought screeched to a halt!
Now, I would like to think all men are kilt-worthy, but the truth, as I see it, is this; kilt wearing is programmed into a Scotsman’s DNA. When a Scot throws on a kilt, no more thought goes into it than if he were slapping on a ball cap. And maybe this is where the “turn-on” factor comes into play. The Scotsman seems completely secure in his manhood, and in the role the kilt plays in his traditions, and heritage. What red-blooded female among us is able to resist such a confident, manly display?
A few of you are shaking your heads; still unconvinced? You truly believe all men are kilt-worthy? Fine, I didn’t want to do this, but you’ve forced my hand. Now, close your eyes and picture Gerard Butler, Mr. Phantom of the Opera, in a kilt. Ooh baby…better break out the drool-bib. Keeping your eyes shut, dredge up a picture of Billy-Bob Thornton, Mr. Sling-blade, in a kilt. Eww…fetch me a bucket. Gotcha!